Picking our guests

I have to say… the creation of our guest list was definitely unorthodox. It seems that McGlovin and I have approached our guest lists with much different parameters in mind- sort if. I mean, I wanted a wedding with fifty people, he knew that his family could fill the Cathedral if we invited them. But even after we settled on a ~120 guest wedding, we still made decisions regarding who was invited very differently.

Mr G’s sister was married five years ago, and her mom still had the guest list of well over 200 people {I think nearly 300 people were invited}. A few days after we were engaged, his mom gave us the spreadsheet and said that we could invite, essentially, whomever we wanted. Mr G’s parents are divorced, and his mom doesn’t have very much family, so we pretty much gave her free reign to invite whatever relatives she wanted. McGlovin’s dad, on the other hand, has a huge Italian family that can trace its roots back to the boat they came over on, and every person that they’ve ever met was to be given an invitation to our wedding. {Not really, of course, but our ‘possible’ list started out pretty expansive.} His dad was pretty reasonable, though, and we cut out several ‘levels’ of invitees, based on how closely they were related.

McGlovin’s half was pretty cut and dry {until recently- another story for later}. My half was a little…different. To start the process of choosing our guests, my mom and I made a list of everyone that we would ever think of inviting, through obligation, or propriety, or because we actually like them 🙂 One evening, when I was at my parent’s house, everyone was sitting in the living room {read: my sisters, my brother, various boyfriends and fiancés}. What happened was a little cut throat, a little stressful, but overall pretty effective: I read down the list of people and, essentially, we voted on who was invited- some people got yes’s immediately, some people got no’s immediately, and sometimes someone had to make the case in support of someone who otherwise would have been rejected.

There’s not a particularly good way to clarify the what’s or why’s for this process was effective. Suffice it to say, both of my parents have large families, and we get along with some of our relatives, we don’t get along with others, and many of them we’re just not close to, for whatever reason. There are also a number of people who I really enjoy and think of as family, but am not related to. Our general rule was this- all aunts, uncles and grandparents were invited. Everyone else had to meet at least two of the following qualifications: a) if we loved them, and knew they would actually care about being part of our day, b)  if McGlovin had some idea who they were, or had ever conversed with them, or c) if we thought they could pick me out from my sisters {we look a little alike, and I would be willing to guess that we have some cousins who don’t know who is who}. Honestly, I just wasn’t trying to fill my half of the guest list with people we invited because we thought we had to, rather than people we really wanted to be there, and who wanted to be there with us.

Personal photo of sisters 🙂

As you can see, the guest list was pretty subjective for my side. Some of my cousins were invited, but not all. Some of my mom’s cousins were invited, but not all. We didn’t go by levels or circles or anything, we just chose the people who we wanted there, and tacked on some extra people that anyone really made a case for. I know that it’s not the normal way to choose a guest list, but…it seems to have worked out for us, so far!


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