After the party is the afterparty…or not?

I have some questions regarding the after party. Like, the Mr and Mrs Newlyweds after party….you know.

I mean, Mr G and I have been living together for three years- I don’t have any questions about that part. It’s just the timing of it all, I guess. So, you put on your dress in the morning- noon-ish, maybe? And it weighs roughly a billion pounds, you’re wearing it around all day, and my understanding is that it gets a bit…warm.

You would sweat in this thing, right? Source

So, twelve hours after you put the thing on, a meal or two and several hours worth of dancing later, you’re ready to have some newlywed time. But…I mean, I picture a few obstacles. First, I bet I’m hungry- even if the bride does eat dinner, this is, like, another six hours later. But, ok, room service can definitely wait. But..what about the fact that my dress has a hundred buttons down the back? That doesn’t exactly say, ‘rip me off in a fit of passion’. And then…ok, I’m going to want to shower.

She clearly has the right idea. Source

This is where I don’t understand what happens. You could do the sexy shower, yes, but then when I am supposed to apply the requisite wedding night lingerie? Or we could do normal, separate showers but then it’s definitely an hour later and at that point I’m probably tired and groggy and hungry and all the things which don’t lead to wedding night magic.

So…where does that leave you, on your wedding night?

Additionally {this is incredibly superficial} I want a garter, because I love the pre-wedding garter photos.

One of my favorite getting ready pictures, ever. Source

So, if we apply the garter pre-wedding for some photos, should I just slip it back off again? We’re not doing a garter toss, but I could re-apply the garter with my wedding night things, as a fun surprise. But that just leads back to…at what point do women actually don their wedding night things and attempt to look sexy?

Any appropriate-for-the-hive suggestions/advice/ anecdotes? I’ve been putting a lot of thought into this matter, and I still haven’t come up with a solution 🙂